The gay ugly human (true story)
Posted by
Bringer116 at 1:58 PM on 1/23/2018 EST:
Lick of an Ugly Human
Based on a true story
by You're mum
Jake Vilchinsky suspected something was a little off when his annoying papa kitts tried to Lick him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans.
It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly gay Ugly human, Josh Koehler, that his life finally began to make sense.
However, Josh proved to be arrogant and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with Pooping. Jake soon learnt that Josh had taken an oath never to Smell a human being.
When Jake's annoying papa kitts is injured in a Sausage accident, Jake realises his own life is at risk.
Despite Josh's Pimply nose and Long ears, Jake finds himself falling for the Ugly human. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects him.
One night, a Pubic Hair appears before Jake and warns him of a darkness within Josh. The Pubic Hair gives Jake the Attractive Strawberry - the only weapon that can defeat a gay Ugly human.
Will Jake find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly Asleep? (Hint: yes!)
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Praise:
"Oh my golly gosh - where can I find myself a tasty gay Ugly human?"
- The Daily Tale
"Oh please! Like a human would ever be able to kill a Ugly human with an Attractive Strawberry!"
- Enid Kibbler
"I didn't like the annoying papa kitts at all and was glad when the Sausage accident happened."
- Hit the Spoof
"The blurb spoilt the plot. I don't need to read it now."
- Zob Gloop
Neither of you guys are valid I can't read
Yeah only five words are
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slɐʇɹoɯ pᴉdnʇs ɹoɟ sᴉ ǝlnɹ ʇɐɥ┴
Jake needs to die
Fix the id issue herronjo