Mental imagery and Internal monologues

Posted by Ogelbeh at 12:40 AM on 2/1/2019 EST:

What's that like for all of you?

Imagery feels distant to me and I can't really control what I see much, but I can sort of picture a 3-d grid with shapes and pieces that I can move around. That's what I do when I need to draw something. I can remember an image of something and then mentally break it down into basic 3-d shapes and rearrange them to get new angles. I don't do that very much though, because it takes more effort than just scribbling "what will probably turn out alright"
Short gifs can play in my head too, but they usually get stuck in a loop and I just rematch them for a while. Could be something I just saw replaying in my head, or working on a new combo in a video game I've been playing. Colors are all pretty faded, I mostly think in black and white.

My internal monolog is much easier to explain. It's literally just me talking to people who aren't around. Sometimes they are around. I've sat by Josh on the bus and not spoken outloud the entire time, but in my head we had pretty good conversation. Even though you didn't say much. You're a good listener. A lot of my thoughts are me explaining what I already know to a... Friend? Also a lot of "b*tch what the f*ck was that shit? Games f*cking rigged. One more loss and I dashboard."

My mind is dark, but I don't mean in themes. If I had to describe it, it would be dark. With two broken screens and me in the middle talking to a wall that I call by other people's names.

I don't use people's names in conversation much though, and when I do it's usually the wrong name. That happens in my mind too. It's odd.

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I talk to a therapist, but he has no name and he has no voice.

Fix the id issue herronjo
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